I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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