I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
