The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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