let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
