I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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