Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
