I must be too annoying 4 u.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
