U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
