We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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