he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
