i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
