Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
