you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
