I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
