Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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