I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
