As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
