I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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