Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
