Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
