i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
