and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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