Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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