it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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