Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
