I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
