did you get engaged???
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
