And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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