So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
