i permit you to call me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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