In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
