it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
