Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
