Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize