Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
