I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
