Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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