The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
COCAINE IS GR8
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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