my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
