My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
