I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
