He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
