new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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