Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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