Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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