sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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