You smell like stripper and shame
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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