My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
