My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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