What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
